One of My Kind
by AirJordan8
Summary: Collection of unconnected House/Wilson vignettes and drabbles, some friendship and some slash.
1. Search

_This is going to be a collection of drabbles and vignettes. Most (if not all) will be House/Wilson, some slash and some friendship. I wasn't going to label them as "slash" or "just friends" but I can if you want cause I know some people don't like slash._

_**Warnings:** Slash and some language_

_**T**__**ime Period: **Half-Wit (3.15)_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

He should have known this was a horrible idea. Horrible is a gross understatement. This is the worst idea that Cameron has ever had. "Bedroom's down the hall," she says.

He can't help it. Jealousy flares up a bit in his chest. "You've been here?" Chase asks. The deal was sex without attachment and he's hoping his voice doesn't tell her that he's breaking her rules.

She's hesitating. Crap. She has been here. She's been in House's apartment and she knows where his bedroom is. What the hell has he gotten himself into? She replies, "Where else would the bedroom be?" Chase isn't convinced.

He walks swiftly past her. "Come with?" He asks. Maybe he can still salvage something good out of breaking into his boss's apartment.

Cameron's mouth quirks up in amusement. "You're scared of him catching us breaking into his home, but you're not scared of him catching us doing it in his bed?"

Chase gives it up without a fight and heads for the bedroom. "I'm gonna get fired anyway," he responds.

Cameron is still going through House's living room, so Chase is alone in his boss's bedroom and feeling more than a little strange about it. His awkwardness isn't helped by the clothes that are carelessly strewn on the ground, the rumpled bed sheets, and the fact that both pillows have clearly been slept on. It's House's fault, he rationalizes. The man teaches them to break into homes and then tries to ditch them for some job in Boston. What did he expect?

Still, the possibility that House could come home at any moment makes Chase hurry through his search. He finds a half empty bottle of Vicodin in the nightstand and some clothes in the closet that Wilson obviously forgot to take with him when he moved into that hotel room. But no secret plots to move to Boston, no phone numbers or job applications or anything else that they could confront House with.

Chase turns to leave the room and hopefully get the hell out of here before House comes back. Worry creeping back in, he's careless and steps on the pile of clothes lying on the ground. Shit. House isn't so perceptive that he'd notice a difference in the way the clothes were crumpled, would he? Chase is so caught up in his paranoid train of thought that he almost doesn't even realize that he's stepped on a tie. House owns a tie? Well he figures every guy owns at least _one _tie, right? But Chase has worked for House long enough to know he'd never, ever wear this tie. It's striped with light periwinkle, tan, and dark gray. House isn't a periwinkle kind of guy. Not only that, but there's a dress shirt and a pair of pants that are way too nice for House lying alongside House's typical jeans and t-shirt.

Chase takes another look at the used pillows, the rumpled bed sheets, the closet, and the clothes lying at his feet. He lets out an amused chuckle as he leaves. He fucking knew it.

_Review?_


	2. Possession

_**Warnings:** Depends on your goggles_

_**T**__**ime Period: **Season Six_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD_

House isn't hungry, but he reaches over and grabs the closer half of Wilson's sandwich anyways. It's not because Wilson decided to make his own sandwich today, and anything Wilson makes is 100% better than what comes out of the hospital cafeteria. It's not that he wants to annoy Wilson either, because he's so immune to House eating his food by now that House isn't even sure if he notices it's happening. It's not even that he wants free food, because 1) he's a well paid doctor and 2) he could use Wilson's card or steal some cash from his wallet if he really wanted to.

No, he steals Wilson's food because he _can_. The way Sam glares when he innocently takes another fry from Wilson's plate just fuels his obsession. He's reminding her that he will outlast her. If she or anyone else stole a bite, they would get a glance from Wilson, maybe a frown depending on who it was. It's not about her, though, and it's not about food and it's not about money. It's about possession.

_Hey I wrote this quick_

_And this is crazy_

_But you read to the end_

_So review it maybe?_


	3. Need

_Thanks for your reviews! You guys are awesome._

_**Warnings:** None_

_**T**__**ime Period: **Post-Amber but Pre-Sam  
_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

House doesn't thrive on neediness like Wilson does. He doesn't like emotional situations or hearing about people's problems, and he definitely doesn't do the whole comforting thing. That's what he tells himself, because that's what he believes.

Wilson is brought into the ER at approximately 10:15. He was attacked on the way to his car, in stable condition but pretty banged up. When House shows up 9 minutes later, having broken every speeding law in New Jersey, the superficial cut on Wilson's head is bandaged and he's in the throes of a panic attack. Cuddy is sitting on his bed trying to get him to look her in the eye and Cameron is standing at his side with a hand on his shoulder. House quickly deduces that Cuddy is there because she's known Wilson longer than any of his team members and feels some sense of obligation. Cameron is there because they bonded over Amber's death and she now thinks she has some sort of claim on him. He also deduces that they are getting absolutely nowhere with him. Not one of his more brilliant conclusions, he notes as Wilson flinches away from Cuddy's hand brushing back his hair. He knows, as they do, that Wilson can't have Ativan because the Lorazepam would have him puking his guts out for the next 24 hours. Of course, they could give him something stronger and knock him out. But it would be much easier for the cops, who want to talk to him before the memories start to get foggy, if they could get him calm without the drugs.

House is not the comforting type, so he holds back, watches from a safe enough distance. No one expects him to do anything; they don't even know he's arrived. It's nice. No one's telling him to talk to Wilson. No one's dragging him into this emotional situation. House will never admit it, but he feels a little tugging anyways. This shouldn't be happening, because House avoids dealing with emotions almost as obsessively as he avoids clinic duty. He should be completely and utterly content standing back while the girls fuss over Wilson. But as he watches Cuddy and Cameron fail to soothe Wilson, some tiny, annoyingly persistent part of him is screaming that that's _his_ best friend.

A tear slipping down Wilson's cheek turns out to be his breaking point. An unexpected burst of hot, white anger comes out of nowhere and slams him square in the chest. And suddenly, he's unbelievably pissed. So irate he's tempted to do some serious damage to the guy who did this to Wilson or maybe just the next person who walks past. House will never admit it-he hates it-but he's feeling protective.

He bites back his anger, but legs are taking him over to Wilson's hospital bed now. Cuddy and Cameron are so wrapped up in their failed mission that they don't notice House is there until he's standing right next to them. Cuddy automatically stands up and opens up the spot for him. He doesn't know what he's doing when he sits down and faces Wilson. He's even less sure of what's going on when Wilson grabs him and won't let go.

Now he's been hugged before, by patients' families, by little girls with cancer, even by Chase. But even with his fellow who thought he was dying, he never felt any kind of obligation or motivation to do anything but get them off of him before someone saw. And now, with the closet thing he's ever had to a brother trying to squeeze the air out of him, House's right brain is taking over and he thinks-_knows_-that this is supposed to be the part where he makes Wilson feel better.

The thing isn't that other people might be watching, because he honestly couldn't care less. The thing is that he truly has no clue what to do. Want to make someone cry and Gregory House is your guy. But make them stop? He's clueless. He finds himself wishing that Cameron was back here. She was always the one he sent to comfort the patient's family. And Wilson was so damn weepy after Amber died; she's bound to have dealt with his tears before. Sure, House has seen Wilson cry too, but that was because he'd polished off way too many beers and decided to watch Titanic.

So House awkwardly puts his arms around Wilson, one hand on his back and the other on the back of his head, and hopes that Wilson will somehow forget all of this too. "Take a deep breath, Jimmy. Don't hyperventilate on me," he tells him softly, trying not to wonder why he just called Wilson "Jimmy."

And to House's complete surprise, Wilson actually listens. House can't tell if he's still crying so he keeps still while Wilson's breathing returns to normal. He doesn't realize it, but his instinctual drives are kicking in; he's rocking Wilson ever so slightly and his thumb is moving across his back. He does realize, though, that Wilson is so relaxed now that he might very well be falling asleep. Out of the same place as the original urge to walk over to Wilson, House feels a little surge of pride. Who knows how long Cuddy and Cameron had been trying to talk to Wilson, but House shut him up in about a minute. He knows he should feel awkward and skittish because he's got someone sniffling into his shoulder. But he doesn't. In the category of things that House will never admit to or even think about, he feels good. He doesn't have any kids, nobody who depends on him except for maybe his patients, but they don't really count. Nobody except for Wilson. It's kind of nice, he decides, to have someone who needs you.

House doesn't thrive on neediness like Wilson does, but he thinks he might understand why Wilson loves it so much.

_First attempt at House hurt/comfort. How'd I do?_


	4. Bros Before Hoes

_**Warnings:** None_

_**T**__**ime Period: **Small Sacrifices (7.08) with a tiny reference to Post Mortem (8.20)_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

Egotistically, Wilson always figured that if his friendship with House was going to end, he would be the one ending it. After Amber and Tritter and Vogler, he was confident that it would always be House crawling back to him. It would always be House screwing up.

Well Wilson's really beat him this time, pushing him and Cuddy together.

He goes over to House's looking for a few beers to drown his sorrows in. Because that's what he always does after a break up. And he's had more than a few break ups, so he thinks he and House have rehearsed this little routine enough times to know what to do. But this time, House has changed the script. Cuddy's coming over, and he doesn't have time to deal with Wilson's sorry love life.

"I just took your advice. Too bad you didn't." Yeah. Too bad.

"Good for you," Wilson replies. He wants to shout at House that he's doing exactly what he feared Wilson would do with Amber and Sam and every other girl he's ever dated. He's choosing sex over beers and pizza. He wants to ask House just who he cares about more here, Cuddy or him? He wants to ask him if it would kill him to spend one night with his best friend instead of his demanding boss/girlfriend.

But he doesn't. He shuts up and walks out the door, towards loneliness and drinking all alone. He lets it go, like he lets everything go.

_Reviews are life._


	5. Seconds

_**Warnings:** None._

_**T**__**ime Period: **a certain medical conference in New Orleans_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

* * *

"Buy me a drink," is the second thing House ever says to him, and Wilson is not about to turn down the guy who just bailed him out of jail.

An hour later, they're sitting next to each other in a bar, Wilson skillfully deflecting all of House's crass remarks. House's dramatic tendencies take over as he reveals that he has been following Wilson around for the past day or so, and Wilson handles the information quite well. House then moves on to information gathering, about the divorce and the papers and Wilson in general.

"Yeah, but why the hell would you carry them around everywhere?" House asks for the second time.

Wilson shakes his head and orders another drink. "Do you do this often?"

"Pick up guys at medical conferences?" House asks flippantly. "Nope. First time. You?"

"And why do you give a damn about my divorce?" Wilson tries again. The first time Wilson tried asking this, all House gave him was a sarcastic remark about how much he cares about other people. Wilson might have only met this guy an hour ago, but already he knows that caring isn't one of House's strengths.

House shrugs. "Just wanna know." He takes another sip of his drink.

Hanging around with House has had its effect on Wilson, whose mood has been darkening since he opened those damn divorce papers. "Yeah, well you can't always get what you want," he replies.

House studies him for a moment; for once he doesn't have an instant and clever response. He stares at him until Wilson meets his eyes again and then gives a dark chuckle, the second time Wilson's ever seen House smile-the first was when House found that he could make Wilson laugh. House shakes his head ever so slightly and finishes off his drink. When he sets the empty glass back down on the counter, he turns back to Wilson, still with the ghost of a smirk on his face. "I like you, Jimmy."


	6. Two Percent

_Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing! It really does help to know that people are actually reading what I post up here! :)_

_**Warnings:** Slash_

_**T**__**ime Period: **whenever you want_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

* * *

_"It was worth a wound; it was worth many wounds; to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking. For the one and only time I caught a glimpse of a great heart as well as of a great brain. All my years of humble but single-minded service culminated in that moment of revelation." ~John Watson (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)_

Even when they really were "just friends"-maybe even since he threw that glass-Wilson has had to put up with the questions. It seems people just can't grasp the concept that he and House would ever want anything to do with each other. Or more, that he would ever want anything to do with House. As a result, Wilson has gotten pretty adept at deflecting questions without giving much away. The most popular one-"you're friends with _House_?"-doesn't even make him want to strangle the asker anymore; it's so ordinary now. He just calmly corrects them-no, they're actually a little more than friends-and ignores the sputtering and shocked silence.

Sometimes he has an abnormally horrid day and House's remarks just push him over the edge. Sometimes they get into a particularly awful screaming match and they both say things that they don't mean. Sometimes, after an especially bad fight, he wonders. Why _has_ he stuck with House all these years?

The way Wilson sees it, the answer to this question is irrelevant to everyone but him, because anybody who asks him why he's "friends" with House wouldn't understand the answer anyways.

The truth is that House spends the majority of his life being an ass. Seventy percent of the time, House is rude and sarcastic and deflects any remark that suggests he is anything more than a heartless bastard. Twenty eight percent is filled with House trying to insert a sexual reference into an everyday conversation or finding other ways to make himself less than charming. The remaining two percent of House's waking hours, the rare occasions where House isn't trying to make someone else miserable for his own entertainment or sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, are the most precious by far.

House, along with most of the hospital, may honestly believe that he was born with a heart 3 sizes too small, but Wilson knows better. Two percent of the time, House is an actual human being and Wilson gets a tiny glimpse of something much deeper than the man who steals his food and borrows his money. It's not like House is writing "I love you" on a post-it note stuck to the mirror in the morning or sending him mushy texts while he's at work-though House is unimaginably more valuable to Wilson than the women who did.

Once, House left him alone for an entire afternoon because he was curled up in his dark office with a migraine. Wilson only found out later that House had been in need of a new Vicodin prescription and had sent his team to get a consult from Norcross when they became convinced that their patient had cancer. House rarely gets him presents for his birthday because he won't let anything-even a calendar-tell him what to do. But he did manage to get his hands on an unreleased Killers CD one year. Sometimes, House will give him the most chaste, gentle kisses and Wilson knows they aren't for sex or attention or any reason except for that he felt like kissing him. One time, Wilson came home at 3 in the morning because he had stayed at work to be with a little girl and her family as she died. House woke up when he got into bed and wrapped a firm arm around Wilson's waist. When Wilson gave him a strange look-House hardly ever lets Wilson cuddle him, let alone initiates it-he closed his eyes, murmured "missed you," and promptly fell back asleep.

It's the little gestures that are probably commonplace for everybody else that keep Wilson coming back for more, ignoring the gossiping nurses and nosy doctors; addicted to these little snippets of all-encompassing love. The truth is Wilson has stuck with House all these years because two percent of the time, he is reminded that the other ninety eight percent doesn't count.


	7. The Kids

_The LOST fan in me can't help but point out that the last chapter was exactly 815 words :) But on to relevant information! This is the first of two parts. The sequel is called "The Adults" and it's the next chapter. You can read either separately but it'll probably make more sense if you read both._

_**Warnings:** None_

_**T**__**ime Period: **after Wilson buys the loft but before Sam  
_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

* * *

_"Hey, Honey. How are the kids? They miss me?" -House to Wilson (2.10)_

Chase acts like such a little boy sometimes that Foreman doesn't understand it. He's just glad the Aussie has grown a brain of his own and no longer mindlessly kisses House's ass 24/7. With his new haircut and stubble, Chase almost looks like an adult. Honestly, Foreman wasn't even sure he could shave yet.

But the new appearance, it seems, is all for show as Chase sits in the diagnostics conference room looking for all the world like a child listening to his parents argue. Foreman is at the head of his table with his back to Wilson's office; Thirteen is at his left and Chase to his right. The three of them sit in horrible, deafening silence, but the room is filled with the muffled screams of the argument going on the other room. A seething House had stormed into the conference room and asked if they'd seen Wilson, spitting his name like a curse. A moment later he'd seen Wilson exit the elevator, ordered them to stay there, and left them absolutely clueless.

Now, unable to hear any actual words from Wilson's office, they sit stony faced and waiting for their boss to return. Well, Foreman sits stony faced. Thirteen is subconsciously angled away from the offending wall and is anxiously biting her lip. Chase has his hands folded on the table with his head turned down almost as if he's praying, and looks about ready to cry.

Taub choses that moment to walk into the room. "House and Wilson having another lovers' spat?" He asks casually. In the other room, something hits the shared wall and shatters loudly, causing all 4 of them to flinch.

Chase puts his hands over his ears.

Taub, sensing the tension, quietly takes a seat next to Thirteen. He brings an arm up to the glass table and rests his head in one hand, facing Thirteen. The rage from the other room is seeping through the walls, suffocating them, and Foreman finds himself desperately wishing that the hospital had thicker walls.

Time seems to drag endlessly on, Foreman praying that Thirteen would stop acting so worried and Chase would give some sign that he isn't on the verge of tears. Then the shouting abruptly stops and it's almost worse, because the choking silence settles down over them.

Thirteen breaks it first with a tiny whisper, as if someone will hear them. "Do you think we should go over there?"

"Are you crazy?" Foreman shoots back in a low voice that was a little harsher than he'd intended.

"What if they actually hurt each other?" Thirteen fights back. Why they're all speaking in such low voices, no one knows. But it seems like the thing to do and so they all continue.

Somewhere along the line, Chase has removed his hands from his ears and resumed his earlier position. "Maybe we should get Cuddy," he suggests.

"Or maybe we should just mind our own damn business," Foreman tells his colleagues in his best authoritative tone.

Wilson's office door slams and as soon as the sound resonates, a choked sob can be heard from behind the wall. Thirteen and Chase give Foreman looks that seem to say "I was right" while Taub doesn't appear to have an opinion on any of this. Opinionated or not, they're all shut up by the reappearance of House, who throws his office door open so hard it crashes into the conference room wall and Foreman worries for a moment that it might shatter.

But it doesn't and House continues, not appearing to notice the door. He flings his cane hard against the far wall of his office and it clatters to the ground, splitting through the overwhelming silence that has descended on his team. House plops down behind his desk and begins furiously digging his fingers into his wrecked thigh muscle.

After a few seconds of this, his head snaps up and Foreman, Chase, Thirteen, and Taub find themselves under House's most excruciating glare. "Get the hell out of here," he barks. The four of them obediently rise and file out of the room.


	8. The Adults

_This is a sequel to the chapter right before it called "The Kids." You could read either separately, but it'll probably make more sense if you read them together._

_**Warnings:** Slash and a few f-bombs_

_**T**__**ime Period: **after Wilson buys the loft but before Sam_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

* * *

When House was a child and his parents would argue, his mother's default answer to any of his questions regarding their frequent disagreements was "you'll understand when you're older." But now he's as grown up as he'll ever be-which actually isn't that grown up at all-and he still doesn't understand. He doesn't understand why Wilson's decided he can keep things from him. He doesn't understand why Cuddy can't seem to make up her mind when it comes to flirting with him. He doesn't understand why his team has been acting especially stupid this week. He would like to say that he doesn't understand why Wilson has been acting so fucking strange lately, but the problem is that he does.

They've had sex before. No mushy "making love" crap. Just "we're both single (though if they aren't, that doesn't stop them either) and we haven't done it in a while so why not" sex. The kind of sex that includes unspoken agreements and leaving right after the act. And it's always worked, because they've never questioned it. Really, he should have known better than to think Wilson-_Wilson_ of all people-would be able to go on forever without psychoanalyzing his actions.

So Wilson turned his brain on and got to thinking, which wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't gone and decided that he cannot sleep with House anymore. House, of course, pretends like he couldn't care less about this new development but really he's just letting his irritation with Wilson grow and grow like a tumor in his chest. He lets it invade the surrounding tissue and the nearby organs until it's in his blood and swarming around his body like a cloud of irate wasps.

It's been two days since Wilson told House he wasn't going to have sex with him anymore and House decided the better choice was to simply ignore Wilson, because doing the adult thing and asking for motives would have made it seem like he cares. And he doesn't. He swears to a God that he knows isn't real that he doesn't. So on the second day, Cuddy forces him into doing the clinic hours that he's been ignoring and a particularly idiotic patient comes in and makes a particularly rude comment.

He's never seen Cuddy scared, but he can actually see the barely concealed fear in her eyes when she figures out just how pissed off he really is. She doesn't even say a word to him as he ditches the clinic and goes up to his office. Of course, his team is fucking useless when he asks about Wilson. But he does find Wilson, and they throw things and shout at each other until Wilson has tears in his eyes and screams "because I'm in love with you, you fucking bastard" in a tone that tells House that he needs to get out of there right this very moment. So he stares back at Wilson for a few seconds that feel more like a few years, and then he does.

House slams Wilson's office door and ignores the strangled sob he hears from behind it. He returns to his own office, none of his anger dissipated in the slightest, and snaps at his team because he can't stand to see them sitting and breathing in the conference room.

He's not sure how long he sits there, fuming quietly to himself and mindlessly massaging his leg even though the pain isn't especially bad. And he knows especially bad. The truth is he's not angry with Wilson for wanting to stop the meaningless sex. He's not angry with Wilson because he's fallen in love with House and that was never part of the plan when they were 33 and 26 and decided to wrestle. He's not even angry because wanting to stop having sex with someone you're in love with makes absolutely no sense to him. No, House is furious because that son of a bitch Wilson who was supposed to be a fun drinking buddy for one weekend has turned into him into a complete and utter softy. House doesn't do emotions; he doesn't do getting all worked up over wanting to stop having sex-something he can easily get elsewhere-and he certainly doesn't do "love." Not for anyone, except Wilson. That son of a bitch.

When Cuddy enters his office, he looks outside and realizes it's gotten dark. She's got that concerned look on her face and House isn't looking forward to this conversation but he recognizes that his cane is against the wall on the other side of his desk-not a great position for a quick escape.

She informs him that she let his team go home for the evening an hour ago. Since their old patient had been discharged yesterday and they didn't have another case yet, she'd assigned them to various spots around the hospital after they came to her. "They're worried about you," she tells him. He doesn't reply or look at her but she continues anyways, in an even softer tone this time. "You need to talk to Wilson."

The sentence is barely out of her mouth before he snaps back. "Already talked to Wilson." House stands up, slowly limping towards his cane and leaning on his desk for support.

He can tell that she really wants to get through to him because she doesn't even hand him the cane when he fakes a wince and takes a sharp inward breath. "He's upset, House."

"Wow!" He exclaims in false shock. "Thanks for your great insight, Cuddy. Nice chat." With that, he reaches his cane and starts towards the door, leaving her standing alone in defeat. "Turn off the lights when you leave," he calls over his shoulder.

He can't go home to the loft without facing Wilson but he can't stay at the hospital without having to deal with Cuddy, so he heads to a nearby bar that he knows Wilson wouldn't go to. He sits there for a while, nursing a glass of bourbon and ignoring all the hot women around him and _thinking_.

He doesn't even realize that it's one in the morning until he's already let himself into the loft. The TV is the only light in the room and illuminating Wilson, who doesn't turn around when House enters the room. He keeps his eyes firmly fixed on the barely audible television when House comes and sits down next to him. House just watches him for a moment, wondering how long he's going to keep this up. Then, like the adult that he knows he's supposed to be but very rarely is, he quietly says, "I'm sorry."

The next morning, House awakes far too early and discovers that Amber was right; Wilson is a cuddler.


	9. Pictionary

_**Warnings:** None_

_**T**__**ime Period: **first 3 seasons_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own House, MD._

* * *

Chase, who believes in aliens and will earn 200 bucks from 6 different people if it's ever proven that House and Wilson are sleeping together, says that their boss and his best friend have mental telepathy. It's hard to tell if he's joking. The three of them do agree on one thing, however: there is no such thing as a peek at House and Wilson. You're either in their world, or you aren't. And no one, maybe excluding Cuddy, ever is.

There are always a couple days between patients where House is trying to avoid having to take his next case; these are always the days where Wilson hangs out in the conference room and the 5 of them get very little done. They do have 5 coffee mugs, but the 5th one is so old that you always end up with gunk in your coffee that seems to come out of nowhere no matter how many times you wash it. So Wilson usually drinks out of House's mug, something that neither of them seem to notice but always earns Cameron and Foreman glaring looks from Chase. But no one says anything about it because Chase wants to continue gathering evidence for his theory and Foreman and Cameron don't want Wilson, the only thing that keeps House tolerable, to leave.

Most of these lazy days, they collaborate on crossword puzzles and the ducklings occasionally do random tasks for Wilson. Chase, Cameron, Foreman, and Wilson do their clinic duty while House follows them down, whining to his friend about how they should both ditch. Cameron watches General Hospital with House and Wilson while Chase secretly watches and pretends to be doing something else. House and Wilson argue about which monster truck is better than the other and which nurse is cheating. If Cuddy comes in, Wilson pretends to be asking for a consult from one of the fellows and that person gets a free pass from Cuddy's lecture, even though she knows what they're up to. Sometimes they try to create mazes that will stump the others. Other times, they play an elaborate version of "toss things into the garbage can," but House tires of this game quickly because Foreman and Wilson are so good at it. Sometimes their games get so intense that the group scatters to different corners of the hospital for a while just to get a break from each other.

Sometimes they play Pictionary with the whiteboard. The first time they play, it's Wilson who brings it up. House immediately agrees-very strange-and declares that he and Wilson will play against Chase, Cameron, and Foreman. Even though it's bizarre that their boss wants to be on a team of 2 when a team of 3 obviously has better chances, the fellows agree. They don't have a board game, but House insists on time bonuses, so they come up with a system. Then Wilson lets the ducklings go first.

They guess Chase's drawing pretty quickly, but House knows that Wilson's scribbled drawing is a duck within seconds. Thinking it's a fluke, they keep playing. But time and time again, House and Wilson guess correctly with plenty of time to spare and they quickly and effortlessly rack up points.

Four turns into the game, Foreman accuses them of cheating. "How the hell would we do that?" House challenges.

"Well you've obviously planned ahead," Cameron argues even though she has nothing to back it up.

Wilson puts on his most innocent face-the one that got him extra scoops of ice cream as a child and now gets him out of extra clinic duty when he's caught goofing off with House. "We've been drawing what's on these slips of paper," he points out, holding up the piece of paper that he chose randomly out of a bowl as proof. "We'd have to be communicating with each other and you've been watching us. How would we cheat?"

Not one of them can figure out a way that isn't Chase's theory of telepathy, so they shut up and forfeit two turns later. They decide to bring up Pictionary on their own next time to make sure that House and Wilson don't have a pre-meditated plan. They do, but House and Wilson kick their asses yet again.

"This is ridiculous," Chase cries when House's fellows lose another round.

"You guys give up?" Wilson asks in the smuggest tone that House's fellows have ever heard from him. The two department heads point identical smirks-faces that say this is not the first or even second time they've won this game-at Chase, Cameron, and Foreman until they mumble their white flag.

After that, House and Wilson are banned from being on the same Pictionary team.


End file.
